We report the article by Paola Molteni published in the weekly Vero regarding the publication of the lawyer Cecatiello's book entitled “Separating well with collaborative practice”. (January 2018).
The cases of separation are constantly increasing in Italy. The lawyer Armando Cecatiello is an experienced matrimonialist who advocates a method to say goodbye correctly: "with the collaborative practice one leaves oneself without reducing the former spouse to poverty"; "The goal is to avoid wars, finding sustainable solutions for both parties", explains the lawyer, "and above all respectful for the lives of children".
Istat: there are more than 82 thousand divorces every year.
Meanwhile, separations and divorces are increasing in Italy. According to the latest Istat surveys of 2015, 91.706 people separated, 2,7 percent more than the previous year, 53,6 with minor children. The boom, however, concerns the number of divorces, which was 82.469, an increase of 57 percent compared to 2014, with an incidence of 13,6 cases per 10 inhabitants, a prevalence in the Central North compared to the South and an increase from 32 40 per cent of divorcees with minor children. A surge that can only be partially associated with the introduction of the so-called short divorce, given that the law entered into force in May. In almost nine out of ten cases, custody of the children is shared, only 8,9 percent remains exclusively with the mother. The share of separations in which the marital home is assigned to wives increases from 57,4 percent in 2005 to 60 in 2015 and reaches 69 for mothers with at least one minor child. The number of separations with maintenance allowance paid by the father also remained stable: 94 per cent.
"A civil divorce is a contradiction in terms". So said the lawyer of the film 'The War of the Roses', in which the no holds barred fight between two spouses about to leave was told. And in wars, large and small, many separations are still reduced today: there is a fight over the maintenance allowance, for the time that the children will spend with one or the other parent, on holidays, on homes. They are wars almost always without winners that end up in court with agreements that are often not respected and people never at peace. Fortunately, however, even on the legal front it has begun to be understood that in family crises there is no battle to be won and that victory consists in finding shared solutions, calibrated to everyone's needs, starting with those of the children.
Negotiation and more empathy
It is according to this new perspective that collaborative practice was born in the United States and is affirming almost everywhere, an alternative approach that offers spouses the opportunity to divide in a peaceful way, learning to tone down the conflict. We separate without having recourse to the judge but through the work of a lawyer for each party, which allows husband and wife to choose the most favorable conditions for a new life, while preserving that of the children as a higher interest. Collaborative lawyers, in fact, trained in negotiation techniques and empathy, collaborate with an interdisciplinary team of professionals in the financial, psychological and communication fields to get to formalize an agreement that provides sustainable and respectful solutions, even in the most contentious matters. "It is the satisfaction of the needs of each party that explains the importance of this new way of separating", points out Armando Cecatiello, a Milanese marriage lawyer, for over twenty years in the field of family law cases, who has specialized in collaborative practice and has just published the book Separate well with collaborative practice (Red editions).
The assignment of the house
“We no longer work to formulate judicial measures that can also reduce one or both parties to misery, but we are committed to identifying paths that allow each to rebuild a life. What has been considered for years the most important legal result of a separation does not necessarily respond to people's concrete needs. Let's take the question of the house ", indicates the expert," obtaining the assignment of the dwelling for only one spouse, leaving the other at the mercy of the costs of a rent, may not be a success. For example, for a couple who lives in a house in the center and hardly bears the costs of a mortgage, it would rather be an advantage to sell that property and buy two different apartments with the shares obtained: it would mean lightening the economic burden and facilitating the 'entry into a renewed life ». Collaborative practice aims at this goal: «Separation should no longer be understood as a drama or a war but as a rebirth. So let's promise each other good even after a separation, to allow a peaceful future for ourselves and the other and to continue to be together again as parents. Only in this way will the poison of discord stop spinning. And who knows, maybe someone will even be able to change his mind about the farewell ».
A new way to leave oneself peacefully. This is the "collaborative practice", an interdisciplinary approach (not only legal) through which in a separation no longer works to formulate judicial measures that can even reduce one or both sides to poverty, but we commit ourselves to identify paths that allow each one to rebuild their lives.
A book to understand, “Separating well with collaborative practice” (editions
Red, beside the cover) is the new book by the lawyer Armando Cecatiello.
EdizioniVero: “Vero is a family weekly aimed at a wide and transversal audience with an editorial and graphic quality imprint that distinguishes it and rewards it in the segment. It creates a direct link with the entertainment world but with a keen eye on current affairs, the political and cultural world, fashion and beauty trends. It also talks about health, cooking, savings and offers many columns signed by well-known faces and professionals, doctors, lawyers. "
Cecatiello Law Firm, Milan. Marriage lawyer, divorce lawyer, specialized in family law, child rights, juvenile criminal. Contact us.